update not here yet

hi everyone....

i finally logged into my blogger dashboard after like so long! it felt like it was a year ago lol......but according to my video post, it wasnt haha, jus quite a few months lol......well as the title suggests a real update wont be coming yet.......jus too busy chasing assignments and backlog for now so i will mayb only update a short post, promising to make a betta one when my holidays come, after exams lol......

well so skool hasnt been the greatest for me, i feel terrible this sem, and i think dat i might need to repeat TWO modules maybe.....ouch man dats like money to me la, 1.8k per module......haiz i blame it on my own unability to do work and procrastinating too much.......feel so much like a failure lol......oh wells im chasing backlog (or supposed to be la), good thing for this one subject the lecturer is very VERY lenient......im like submitting 7 weeks of regular work over the next day or so lol......so i think im going to sleep at 330am......got class tml which probably is a revision.....haiz im tempted to say fml but i think my life has far more worth than jus assignments and temporary failures.......

i betta get started! like 10+ mins left! haiz......so many things taking up so much of my time.....NITE!!

=D

(i actually wanted to post this like at least a month ago but it got postponed/procrastinated)

need i say anything more? haha......my fren adeline from skool sent this link to me and it jus made my nite hahaha.....cathy nguyen jus looks pretty here haha even tho aj rafael is quite goofy here.....shove the quality heh, dats not wad im looking for anyway hahahah....



well actually i can add cathy on twitter (now i already did heh).....but i dunno if dats like carrying things too far or wad....so tell me wad the general public thinks before i actually do sumtin about it haha.....arhhhhh how i wish i was studying overseas and all, then she is my hall mate......i will jus crash into love, not to mention i'll be playing (or at least learning) alot of new songs on my guitar, mayb we might have our own youtube video together too =P haha kk jus had to get it out in some sense heh, but i can very full well differentiate wishful thinking and reality.......

time to sleep [and no im not going to dream of her (yet haha!)] :D argh prayer and praise preparations im so panicking.....

silly smiles to myself =)

haha i was going off to sleep but i jus had to post this heh......i feel abit like a stalker but im not heh....the girl singing in this vid is so cute.....i like her look hahaha (smiles silly-ly to myself).......plus she sings not bad too, she has a lisp but obviously im too busy to notice lol =p anyway i think this version is much betta then the techno-like original version by keri hilson ft. neyo & kanye west, i even deletd the original song cos this one is betta =P.....well ben lim posted this on fase book so he got me started.....i searched up more vids of the girl alone on youtube too.....post them next time la....her name is cathy nguyen by the way hahaha......(smiles to myself again haha)......arhhhh falling in love with her smile, cant help but smile when i see her smile hahaha......okk good nite netizens lol.....

i dun wanna sleep yet but i should.....

yea as the title suggests.....well actually i dun wanna sleep cos im jus feeling abit sian cos of you......well i will post more on dat next time haiz......im jus feeling sian cos like we arent even near frens now, we arent talking much and stuff........i been wanting to talk to you so much for awhile, but i dunno if you want to talk to me or not.......in fact i dunno how to proceed now.....i guess sometimes i jus want to be sure....i want it all or nothing at all, jus staying in the middle of nowhere with you just kills me at times cos i dunno exactly wad to do, where to go from here.......okk its late i wanna retire to my bed for well over 12 hours so i wont really rant sucha long post........then there is the question about whether you like me or not, if u do, jus tell me in my face so dat i will noe and dun need to 2nd guess or wad heh, i guess it'll be wierd for some time but we'll see how it goes from there la.......


i think i need to talk with aunty lily again =| im pretty sure her insights will really help me find an answer........



i thank God for klove, visit my links if u wanna hear it online.......its really uplifting me and im so glad i can listen to it streaming online on my new laptop no less.....well i wanna upgrade to windows 7 soon!! as well as mayb send my laptop for servicing, yea i noe i jus bought it less than a month......the speakers apparently cant play music for long, there will be popping sounds like something spoilt or so......well i should go to my inviting bed now.......


PS i have been listening to klove for about the same amount of hours and minuites past midnight dat this post is actually coming out......(dats like 3 and a half hrs) quite cool eh? hahah, well jus a thot.....good nite, or good morning.......

thoughts on being a civilian again finally

taking a walk down memory lane, from a bald garang recruit who was conscripted on friday the 13th 2007 in tekong, to a corporal from BSLC, to an armour specialist then now a full-fledged civilian who cant think of anything but freedom........smiling all the way from boon lay to eunos after i got my pink IC back...............

well its been almost a month of slacking, since i got back my pink IC........well in case u didnt already noe i ORD-ed on the 12th of may 2009, a whole 1 yr 10 mths of national slavation they call ur duty to the country...........i mean im all for soldiering to protect my country and the ppl i care for but its jus the singapore regimentation system nothing but sucks.......heh im sure every soldier who has gone thru regimentation, one way or another, no matter wad post he had/has, no matter wad vocation he was/is in.............

all i can is i have come a long way and like army has definitely changed me in ways i cannot even fathom or imagine.......but i guess the change that i myself can tell dat i speak of now.....

• i feel i am a not so happy and jovial person as before i went in (i may not show it many atimes but still its there i realise), to some extent NS did take away more than a few times of being able to meet up with frens, staying for dat much longer at appointments.........not dat im bitter or anything but jus reflecting on dat.......but of cos i wish i could have made it for all those ag outings and stuff where i could have gotten dat much closer to everyone in the ag.......haha but dats like a kinda regret dat even u want oso cant suck thumb lol, make do with wad u have now lol......=|
  
  
• i guess the usual jovialness and craziness was replaced with a more sober note, and mayb cos there was a period of time not too long ago, dat i wasnt very regular with my daily QT, in fact more irregular than not.......dat everything seemed to be jus crashing down.......i cannot tell if there is a direct relation between doing QT and like being so affected by the things around you for now but i can see the difference in the way certain things affect me when im facing them, the contrast between keeping close to God and not.....i guess its the perspective......
  
  
• have i mentioned it too many times dat i feel everything has changed? dats the thing of not being able to talk to the ppl u normally talk to i guess...........all of a sudden u feel dat they are somehow changed, like yesterday u feel u now them and yet the next day they seem like strangers to u.......then u havta get thru the whole process of getting to know them seemingly all over again......
  
  
• then also from the army experience u really meet all sorts of people (some of whom i would like to forget asap and not get myself angry at them but dats not the point is it).......not only does it widen ur experience of the outside world, it also take inter-personal skills to a whole new level la......
  
  
• from army there is alot of cursing even though i tried my very best to control my tongue, i learnt i still had to use mild vulgarities to get my point across or make a stand for sumtin in the army.....i admit i did use abit here and there even tho not as much as my other frens but like yeah i feel dat impact is brought out even to the civilian world, when ppl make me angry or do sumtin in injustice to me or like something random jus happens to mess up, the first thot of mine is to curse under my breath.......God knows i have used vulgarities under my breath too many times for counting, sometimes i feel like scolding my frens mildly but i catch myself and not slip up, but the first thot prevail..........i need a total revamp to get rid of this indoctrination from the army, only with God's help.....
  
  
• also, with power of rank in the army, coming out into the civilian world once again, u subconsciously have the expectation dat ppl are supposed to do wad u tell them if wad ur telling them to do is rite (mayb in ur eyes only but still), its so different sometimes, like society is not bound by much rules (to a certain extent), as long as its not offending the law, anything goes, whereas in the army there are so many (too many) rules to guide u by, there is a system which most NSFs have to follow.........
  
  
• did i mention dat quite abit of army technical lingo stays with u........haha sometimes hard for others who haven experience army to understand without proper explanation........phrases like suck thumb etc other crude phrases too jus dat its not normally used in public.....
  
  
• sometimes i find its a culture shock dat after ORD-ing from the army cos after being so used to having rules, guidelines, documentations, paperwork etc to guide u so dat more or less u know wad u can do, which path u will be going on, and likewise the opposites, the boundaries and limitations of ur actions........outside, as i said anything goes, call it too long not being able to think for urself (we'll get punished in the army if u think too radically i have realised), but like making choices on ur own and bearing the consequences can be quite scary and daunting.......i jus applied for mass comm at murdoch, and cos like they dun offer radio d-jing in singapore campus (yet, dunno when it will arrive), they onli offer it in perth so like thinking if i should go over to study for a sem or sumtin (the fees are quite exorbitant la! $10+K for like 3 months! inclusive of lodging, tuition, food etc, its alot of money).......besides dat i had to choose my majors even before anything started la.....choosing majors for ur degree is so scary cos like u dunno wad ur getting urself into......had to do alot of reading (some last min too) on like so many topics......i read like at least 20 wiki topics i think......well now dat its all done with, next up is my intensive bridging modules which is like 1 month long only but like every week there will be one thurs (7-10), sat  and sun (9-5) then the following wednesday is the test ready.....siao damn chiong la.......well worry about dat later......i thank God for giving me peace somewhat despite the scariness of the situation......

so dats about all i can think of for now.....but i guess there will be more changes than im willing to note or remember mayb? but the change is very prevalent (to me at least), the damage if any has been done, hopefully 2 yrs or so of national service hasnt done any irreversible damage........yea its been a memorable journey to say the least, even tho i would say i regret some things i have done, resented some punishments i got, the frens i have made all around are Generally quite a good bunch and i hope to keep in contact with them.......after going thru armyp personally then u'll get a chance to appreciate and mayb understand better wad the army guys go thru, the trials, the temptations, the difficulties, the everything, the army experience haha........its beyond words can ever describe (cos too much info can get u charged under the official secrets act heh but dats besides the point), or at least i dunno how to put it for public understanding, of cos i'll still remember wad was going thru my mind and all the great experiences i had in army when i read this several yrs down the road............dats all about freedom for now....

some people are jus way too excited about the church camp which is coming up jus tml or later in like 5 hrs time (groans how i wake up then)........i jus dunno wad to think about the camp......i mean im a discussion group leader with david chua of the younger guys, i think it should be fine la........jus relax and talk cock la......there is jus a certain part im not not looking forward to, i dunno the free and easy time in camp how siah........cos like the couples in my ag will be together then cant be i tag along and lite up the place huh........then like everyone else seems to have their own clique and stuff, guess i'll jus tag along with some of the people in my ag hopefully they go out if not stay in the hotel all the way and sleep is not my idea of free and easy, i can do dat at home la........or even if they all wanna stay in the hotel all the way, if there's games then not so bad i guess......hmm woohoo I HAVEN PACKED MY BAG YET.......one kind of last minute huh ;) jus now i was playing guitar, jus looking back to God despite feeling abit moody cos of things......well i guess i'll go pack now and get some sleep.........siao man but i slept jus now (i think) so not so bad i guess.........blog more when i get back la........

measure of a man

• i am proud of my looks, dat i think i look at least 'average'........
  
  
• i am proud of my body, of the standard i have built up since secondary skool days where i was a canoeist.....
  
  
• i am proud of my fitness level at times esp when im the one running around way more than others, reaching a destination dat much faster than others........
  
  
• i am proud when i score well in basketball, like a good assist or sumtin........
  
  
• i am proud when i score in frisbee or do good blocking..........
  
  
• i am happy when i have friends to talk to online, when more than 2 or 3 ppl msg me constantly (but dat doesnt happen often sadly)
  
  
• i am happy to jus (have been) be able to canoe and represent my (secondary) skool for dat.....
  
  
• i am proud to have enough to eat, and also to afford some small seemingly expensive things here and there, to own a phone, mp3 player, a camera, shoes among other stuff of MY OWN........
  
  
• i am proud when i play well in floorball, like defending and scoring and making good connecting passes..........
  
  
• i am proud to have a complete family (even though its seemingly dysfunctional at times i think, like any normal family)...........
  
  
• i am proud dat i fit in okay on a social level (ok most of the times, i may not be the most popular but im tolerated well enough if i dun say anything off or wad).........
  
  
• i am happy and proud when i play well on the guitar in any setting...........
  
  
• i am proud dat i can hold a tune okay enough........
  
  
• i am proud when the things dat im serving in goes well, without the kids misbehaving or sumtin like dat etc.........
  
  
• i am proud dat i can talk well to a certain standard.........

at the end of the day with all dat said and done, regardless or whether its true or not, or if its jus my own boosting of ego, what actually is the measure of a man? 

• by wad car he drives? 
  
  
• by wad house he owns? 
  
  
• by how much money he has?
  
  
• by how beautiful the bride he has?
  
  
• by the latest phones or gadgets he jus bought?
  
  
• by the brands of his apparel(s)?
  
  
• by how nice he dresses?
  
  
• by how nice he is even?
  
  
• or by his strength of character?

the list could go on and on for the men (and women) of today......the real question is "Is meaning and purpose so necessary for the modern man dat he searches endlessly, trying as hard as he possibly humanly can to quench his thirst of being satisfied?" so then what really defines a man? i feel that to a certain extent men's worth or wad defines him is a very little bit of the things he does well, a very little bit of the things he owns, cos afterall if not for all those things here and there, we could arguably be void of identity wouldnt we? 

its easy to noe dat all the temporal things of this world DO NOT define me or anyone for dat matter.........but the constant struggle i face is letting go of all dat the world uses to define people and to look at them in different lights, on one hand i noe they are not supposed to take so much precedence in my life, and dat this shouldnt matter much when i look at people but one part of me jus cant let go because i noe dat realistically speaking i would feel lost and kinda without identity without the things dat define me for now, like sporting ability, playing the guitar etc........i noe i really cannot count on those things or even relationships and friendships to bring me satisfaction cos since i have gone into the army i realise dat things change and the whole world moves on too quickly even though ur stuck in a standstill, contemplating wad to do next......one moment u could be great frens with someone but like after a period of not being able to talk to dat person u probably lose contact with dat person, u dunno wad dat person is doing, how they are getting on and i noe from my own experience its probably very hard if not impossible to get back to dat level of closeness which u once were with dat person.............

then it boils down to ultimately "who or what actually defines who you are?" needless to say the politically correct answer should be "God" alone la but how to let go on the material things u hold onto jus to hold onto something you cannot see or fathom? when things are going well its easy to hold onto God and to trust Him and all but its like when nothing seems to be going rite and u feel down cos u didnt do so well for dat particular match or u said something u shouldnt have said etc, (these are jus examples) but wad really shapes our identity? How to really trust God for your future? even when things dun look the slightest bit good.......how to convince ur human self dat all dat matters is wad God thinks of u when all around u the world tries its utmost best (and sometimes it succeeds) in convincing u dat u should chase after the highest qualification, the best job, the nicest car, the most expensive nice clothes and shoes........"because ultimately you deserve the best" could be part of their taglines for their products.........the struggle is clinging onto God even when there is no tangible evidence dat He is working 'the best' for u in ur life, the knowing dat wad u think is best for ur life might not necessarily be wad God has planned..........does being convinced of this stem from your own intellect, feelings and emotions telling u "this is the thing u should believe cos jus believe lol, somewhere in the bible says this but i dunno where........." or can trusting God wholly only come from somewhere in the depths in my heart, in my soul (whereever or whatever dat really is).........i jus have to trust in God cos no matter whad, i believe one day He will bring the best for me in my life to come to pass.........mayb he is stripping me of all the temporal things i am clinging onto to give me meaning and worth, to show me dat my only meaning and worth is in Him alone even though its nothing i can explain, fathom or nothing tangible for now........

i think my thots might seem abit scattered and mayb even  to the point of random in this post.......wad to do, im doing so many things at once, listening to music, blogging, msn chatting, watching tv beside the com, checking mail and other things lol....im too lazy to read thru and edit ready so i'll jus leave it at dat for some other time........feddup ruthless and charissa also say im emo o_O im not emo!!! i wanna go sleep now as well so i shall end here -->.

it goes as fast as it comes

well more in response to my last post, i think i got owned rather bad in my own definitions dat is.........well thankfully i never stay in a state for too long............by the way, did i really sound like very emo in the last post? lol ruth said i sounded quite emo or sumtin along dat line......oh wells anyway i actually feel very much relieved i actually gotten down to making dat post, cos not onli did it help me to air some pent up thoughts, it also helped me in some ways to think more objectively for things as they were.........and i also dun see a point of staying emo for too long, wads the use of wallowing in self pity and feeling worthless, altho i think its necessary but onli for awhile ;p


well i have thus managed to rethink my thots and re-evaluate y i think i like you (or you or you or you or you or you or you haha! colourful like a rainbow......o_O).......i think i dunno you well enough, if at all so i shall jus shelf it for now....i also dunno wad to do with all these mixed feelings even if i had them concrete and fixed in........thinking it thru i feel dat i dun need to live my life just for a girl or any girl for dat matter.......(dat is until the next time i get this kinda crazy feelings again hahaha......) BUT with dat said and done, its like quite hard to get out of the rut of feeling emo and sorry for urself cos its almost too easy to jus give in and sink in again especially when the trying's so hard as always, i guess it has to be a change of perspective like probably seeing somebody whose problems are way bigger than urs and their not complaining and stuff then its like u almost feel ashamed to even utter a word of complaint cos even their silence will mock u at how small ur problems are compared to theirs......well eleanor ho posted something about frenships so since im lazy to quote, i'll jus copy and paste the whole thing here.........here it is.........


People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season...

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

mayb eleanor might be right you might be in my life for a reason or season for now heh.....whatever it is i'm not going to think so much and jus continue trying actively to get out of my rut for good........

i jus wish there was something that i can be quite sure God wants me to do with my life, with my singlehood, with my time, my energies and really pour myself out there, being useful serving and also receiving in many ways........to me i think yf has more or less ceased to be dat for me, if it ever was in the first place.........


feels like the yf dat i grew to know since the time i first joined yf in like the last yf of 2003 till now, its like way different la.....when i first joined yf, i felt the atmosphere was a very warm one....and i remember i got to noe alot of ppl from zion dat i knew existed by face but i didnt noe their names then......(lets see let me try and recollect my thots from where i left off but actually its quite impossible i feel).....back then when i first joined, there were ppl like david heng, linus koe, (mrs) ecashia (jacob), serene lee, delia foo, rachel yeo, gracia yong (for some time i think), michelle fong and ella came too, oh ya and alot of ppl their age too like jeanette, amanda, sharon, sarabelle (for some time i remember).......but of course like now, most of them have stopped coming due to various reasons, some have probably gone to other churches and are mayb serving there, some have gone overseas to study and yet some are still in singapore but they have stopped coming for yf and stuff and sometimes i really wonder y, is yf sucha draining place dat there's no meaning in continuing to come or wad? In fact thinking about it i cant tell y i still bother to come for yf nowadays.....honestly i think i come for the fellowship i think cos dats wad sets yf apart from any other secular youth gathering but sometimes i feel dat the fellowship is very much lacking so hence the questions why do i bother to come in the first place? to see my frens? to be honest, there are not much or very little ppl my age in yf lol......too many atimes i wish i could have joined yf with a bunch of frens my age, it probably would have made my stay in yf more concrete and i would probably not be typing this rite now........i think timmy is rite, im probably 'seah ghor' ready.....cos he was talking to me briefly about phasing some youths into yf and i told him i needed to be phased in too haha.......but i guess he is rite, the fire is probably very much gone or belittled already by now.......



oh wells i dunno wad to continue ranting on heh.....so i guess i'll stop here and mayb (most probably) escape into my own world of playing games, i've been doing dat everytiem i have a holiday from camp haha.....well this will probably be my last post before i can totally wait to jus collect my pink ic lol cause i will be having a atp shoot this saturday and sunday then monday i'll be cleaning arms......after all dat i will come back on monday evening or earlier perhaps then all the way until 12th i will be on leave and off etc, then 12th i will be known as mister daniel lee again! whoo! cant wait for it....for now i will take refuge in games haha.......sorry i feel abit anti-social nowadays cos i dunno how to interact with alot of ppl anymore..........=|

living life for love makes life more interesting

whew i am quite mad.......i first started blogging this post on 10/04/2009, at 0206 now and im blogging jus cos i feel like blogging....over the years i guess my blog has come to become a refuge if not a venting medium for me to jus let go of my emotions, thoughts, crap and wad not.....somehow i think dat some ppl may have been hurt or offended by wad i have wrote, altho my natural response is to probably apologise, i think i probably wont until i noe of any such cases (seriously, if there ever is such a case, please do speak to me privately about it).......cos i value the honesty i can have on my blog.....even if mayb sometimes (alot of the times) i feel dat i share way too much for even my own comfort......


well i've been thinking of blogging about this for quite awhile, jus dat i never got down to it somehow, procrastinating, doing many things dat really dun matter....so many things dat really consume my time and energy and all......im on a cleansing passage if u would like to purge all these bad habits
(continued on 13/04/2009 at 0055 hrs)
and actually return to a more or less normal state i guess.....cant remember the original thots dat first came to me when i was blogging dat statement.........


well down to the point of y i started this post in the first place........

last time i said dat i feel you might like me and mayb also not......but then again i wouldnt noe wad to do with your love if it was ever there, ever more than a relationship called friendship........even though i feel i've been WANTING it so much.......

(hur aunty mabel taught the little kids the difference between needs and wants, it was a timely reminder for me dat no matter how much i want to get attached, have someone to love etc, its not so much of a NEED i guess.....cant really confirm it myself......oh wells its jus speculations for now.......)

well that was all many what ifs in my head.....what if you like me? (then i start imagining the possibilities, dream on until i reach parenthood, well they're jus dreams nonetheless......) what if you did this and/or dat because you like me? .......then reality kicks in and i tell myself, DEY UR THINKING TOO MUCH LA.......kk mayb i will wait until you are past a certain age or mayb i will jus wait it out and see if anything 'happens' between us cos afterall time is the best test of any relationship.......then somehow out of the blue you jus mention to me we're betta off being frens close as siblings.......then its jus like something clicks and i jus decide to properly let it go before i fall too deep for recovery, and i feel it is actually a relief finding out the answer.......i mean at least its an answer i can be quite convicted and sure of, instead of finding myself hanging in mid air, not knowing what to do and all........


i see you around in church, i talk to you a few times and i suan you as well (i suan almost everyone i noe, so mayb dats the point, it'll be harder to guess who she is im refering to and hopefully she doesnt come across this blog entry and think/know/guess its her im talking about)......actually i must admit i dun really noe whether i like you or not.......my feelings are jus in a grey whirl heh, nothing is concrete, for all i noe i may be the one orchestrating all these feelings inside of me when actually it may not be anything at all......mayb you were brought up in a certain way dat makes you do things i might misinterpret as showing fondness or dat care for me more than jus frens......recently i saw a picture of you and your outside frens and i realised i dun really noe you dat much, i dunno you as much as i think i do, i dunno you much actually full stop, i dun really noe wad are your favorite colour, food etc (eh a thot jus came to me dat i actually dunno alot of ppl's fav food, colour etc, the onli ppl's favs i remember are titus's and andrew's, oh wells all the betta for me)......should i even be considering you in the first place is probably wad drives me nuts.........


i want concrete answers!!!! y doesnt God just plonk the person ur supposed to be with rite in front of ur eyes, or for dat matter the choices of ur life partner (because i remember reading from somewhere or sth dat God doesnt limit ur future life partner to a singular person, meaning ya la of cos He knows who ur ultimately going to marry (He is God wad) but dat choice of the life partner is actually chosen from a group of people, depending on the life choices u make, ur upbringing and so many other factors only God knows.......argh even if He tells me "u shall be single the rest of ur life......" i am actually fine with dat, at least its an answer! rite now i think if i was called to be single all my life i would actually be happy to serve God with my talents, abilities, my body, my time and energy etc.........of course its easier to say it than do it i guess, when the time comes i dunno wad my response will be........will i be caught unawares, kicking and screaming at God for why He allowed this to happen to me? i never noe.........


i guess i will jus do the thing i am just too accustomed to do...........wait it out and see if anything 'happens'......guess God's will will be done no matter what so u/i might as well submit to it and just go with His flow lur.......kinda like a suck thumb situation but oh wells.......His will is the best u can get for ur life so i guess i take comfort in dat.......but honestly i would like to know the answer as soon as possible.......any answer would suffice to pacify me, to curb my thoughts and emotions from running wild at the slightest hint dat you like me or your concerned about me...........and lastly i dun want to 'get together with' you jus because you are the onli choice i have for now, it will make me feel i do certain things cos i am feeling desperate, which i am not and never want to be...........thus this post i guess, i jus felt i had to get it off my chest and now dat the pressure is out i feel betta without even the situation changing, blogging is and will always be a therapeutic outlet for me i guess.......i really value the honesty i can have on my blog though i regret some things not being private......its late im tired and sian-ded, i havta scrub off all the mud from my shirt and pants from frisbee jus now.........we all had a great time playing even though the field was quite muddy and wet siao man, 7 on 8 all guys match, super exciting.......nicholas chan from one of the combined bp churches brought like 10+ ppl (yfc wants to outreach to) to play with jerry, yi tao, shaun kiu and i so damn shiok la........now i havta scrub off the mud and stuff myself before i go sleep sians.......oh wells all for the fun's sake, it was so worth it........will post pictures of my dirty pants and shirt next time i guess......


P.S. to all the people who visit my blog every once in awhile, if u read this, i would really like to know why u bother to visit/read my blog? really i cant think of any reason why anyone would want to read my blog or visit for dat matter haha, to play with my cyber pet? lol.....no but seriously i would like to noe, email me or sumtin or u can leave comments or tag if u dun find the reason too private, i'll jus like to noe nonetheless.....thanks......(i trust i dun have to put this in red to get ur attention, if u read this please jus comply heh)........


rachelll : haha true true.......no problem....but actually i didnt do much......i really meant wad i said today, u do look healthier and mayb happier.....


ET: alien head.....y is ur head so round lol......eh i will reply ur questions when im free la......very ma fan leh so many questions.....


tracy mophead kee: lol hurhur....sorry lur.....got so many things to do and occupy my time when i book out or on leave la......writing letter must sit down and slowly think about wad to reply la....relax, the reply will come when it comes haha (hopefully).....

a relaxed sunday

well yeah this sunday dat jus passed was one of the best sundays i've ever had while im still doing ns.......hmm the sunday started rather early for a late riser like me....cos i was leading my ag group discussions with rachel, rng......dat morning lol......so i was jus reading the notes the nite before, the notes from the video lecture.......i prepared abit on chap 7 when actually it was chap 6...shows how out of touch with ag meetings i have been....oh wells i've been away for 3 weekends at least so i cant really be blamed.......and i think we had quite a good sharing, everyone was honest if not open, willing to be vulnerable........


after dat i went to help out with the children for open sunday, not because i had to but i was missing the children after quite awhile of not being able to see them in church (cos i wasnt in church in the first place)......i dunno i miss their smiles and all......i regret not being able to listen to the msg by dr aquila lee (his qife is priscilla! haha i found out from andrew priscilla tan haha)......but it was fun la, nice to see my kids again......even though i had to do my usual, sometimes menial task of looking after gabriel goh the attention seeker....i smile to myself sometimes when im looking after him thinking "hmm this is life..." sometimes i get quite frustrated on how to handle gabriel and all la.....makes u question if ur signing up to serve God cos the children and cute and well-behaved and not willing to accept any other children who have social or learning disabilities......well i went to help and see the children this week cos i might not be able to come out next sunday cos there's some life firing shit for csscom (makes our unit feel more like prostitutes, as if the infantry units were not enough.....ask me about it next time if u wanna noe).......haha anyway i learnt how to sign a few simple phrases from their segment heh......like good morning, family, you, me.....but i probably cant rememeber them permanently heh......short term memory hurhur.........


after dat i went for lunch, oh but before dat su lin passed me a letter from mop heh.....hey mop, u really reply quite fast.......i had a good lunch at the new stall where the last time nasi lemak used to be......im suprised their food is quite good.......then the aunty was so nice to allow me to eat my food first then go draw money to pay her for it......i enjoyed lunch alot......after dat i went back to church, normally when there is floorball i would usually be the one bringing down all the sticks and goalposts as well as setting up the area......but this time i jus didnt bother......i jus went up to the clubhouse and played carrom with jon to pass time.....terence took over him for awhile and then he played one round with me....he won heh, he is still quite accurate......then matthias for one of the first few times was terence to go down and play, saying everyone is ready to play, jus waiting for him.....i found out dat he had called me too so its refreshing dat ppl actually bother about floorball.......but of cos to be expected, when i went down, the place was still not set up yet, nobody had brought down the sticks or goalposts, but some interest and commitment is betta than none.........i brought down the stuff and we set up the stuff, there was a huge turnout of ppl, like terence, matthias, joel, jason, marcus, julia, wilfred, sam tan, jon, charles, myself, oh ya and whoo hoo (good job) JOB!!! not bad i must say.....didnt expect much ppl to play......cos normally ppl dun turn up lol, jus about 6 will come or so, quite sian.....jus like frisbee sometimes........we had one of the most wicked and fast paced games of floorball i can remember, quite nice and it rained like monstrous sized cats and dogs.....so parts of the fellowship hall got slippery, marcus had quite i heavy fall i think, and it must have hurt, cos i fell before when it was not wet and the fellowship hall floor is damn solid.........


after floorball, at about 1645 hrs like dat, it was still raining like nobody's business so jon and i went up to the clubhouse and played carrom.......who would have thot dat simple game would have brought us all to much fun and laughter haha....it was so memorable dat its the precise reason y im typing this post lol (and at 0415 hrs at dat)........haha from suaning jia min who was my team-mate at some point in time (i'm shooting the white seeds then i told jia min) "i shoot white, then ur black" hahaha lame joke but yeah funny la, everybody burst out laughing.....then nat was playing the fool (in his words), he was talking some random lame shit then he would miss his shots haha.....super funny and entertaining.....then i would randomly do the smiley face with the hand covering ur mouth, its a gardens thing i think, learnt it from andrew who has been hanging out with ibob, dng, shaun loong, sng the lot......then kevin would burst out laughing haha....then i would laugh at him esp when he gave his high pitch laughter cos he couldnt take it any longer haha.......its a kinda context kinda thing.....some other jokes about jia min being an indian (somehow, cant remember how it got to dat heh).......very funny, then another joke "shubah shubah" haha......jia min again heh, she didnt get it then kevin and i kept spamming it and kevin kept laughing about it....i'll laugh mostly at kevin, and like once off at ryan, he was like who's shubah then i burst out laughing uncontrollably.......danielle and jia hui also played carrom with us, taking turns, all part of the fun heh.......jia min is super cute haha, like there was once nat shot in 3 seeds then jia min shot in the striker 2 times and help the other team score once haha......everybody jus laughed when she shot the striker in cos nat was very proud dat he scored 3 by himself hahaah......


but i really commend jia min because she is really sporting and she can take suaning, in fact she suans herself alot too dats wad makes her so cute anf funny hurhur......well i was talking to her on msn later dat nite and i drew this picture of her (below) on paint, and asked her to put as her display picture......
she so sporting dat she actually did it for a day haha......nice i admire her sporting attitude heh.....respect heh........


after like 2 hours or so of carrom, (we actually spent like 1 hr or so on one particular game i was told by yi tao or my brother i think) john and i headed home, or rather for dinner.....with my family at super lucky 'restaurant', they serve zhi cha food at very very affordable prices and the food it good, my family have been eating there for so many times when i come home late and i need to book in on sunday nite........its definitely a very nice feeling to be able to jus relax, not needing to book in or rush anywhere....i could get used to this, cant wait to ORD once again, then if every week was so relaxed it would be heaven on earth heh.........well i havta sleep now its 0441 hrs now la......later i meeting julia and jasmine for lunch at s11 bishan then will be playing badminton after dat.........



ET: haha o k....in any sense thank u for tagging....erhm nope i haven replaced them.....didnt u notice? haha oh well i got the spec shop uncle to super glue it back for me......but i'm thinking of getting a new pair of (green none less) specs for when i ORD and for wearing when im not playing games.....expesive siah one pair, the frame alone is $70 already.......


rachelll: haha 2 posts at one go, how is dat for a dead blogger? heh....aiya blogging is not really on my priority list la wad can i say......yeah i know about it, its good, awesome......keep it up! im proud of u......

free from prejudice (if but just once)

(backdated post started on monday, 23rd february at 01:26 hrs)


well so the background to this post is like this......its tragic and actually i rather not mention the details again esp since im still bitter at dat gay clerk now haiz.......well so pretend the date is feb 17th.......i went off in the morning for my dental appointment, to check my teeth from braces, then after dat shun bian go make appointment to pluck my wisdom teeth all dat so had to go for xray everything so i had to end up staying longer than i was originally allocatted so i called my pc to tell him dat i would be going back later abit.......ok rewind to before dat......i had planned to go out straight for nite's out straight after my dental appointment......ok i know its wrong or mayb not permissible, i dun think my pc would have the balls to approve of me doing sucha thing so i didnt tell him or anyone else except jeremy and qin en.......i asked qin en to sign in for me when he booked out at 12pm.....he did so at about 11am then he went to eat.......but i dunno how come or y the gay clerk, timothy went to check the book-in book and he called me at about 11am......when i received the call i told him i was still outside cos my off pass was at least until 1230pm, when looking at the time....i didnt noe dat qin en had signed in for me at 11am.........so i told him to help me cover dat i was in camp at about 3pm cos i finished everything by 1330hrs.....i then went for lunch with my dad and i went to funan to settle errands/ look for & at stuff......halfway thru those errands i received quite a few calls from my pc, ps, and various other ppl but i didnt pick up their calls on purpose cos i didnt noe wad was the situation so the onli ppl i was msging was jeremy and timothy the gay, qin en was out on medical appointment ma.....btw jeremy and qin en and i were the onli ati ppl dat were left behind, as in we chose not to go new zealand with the rest........then i decided to make my way back to camp jus in case sumtin big happened.......well something big did happen but oh wells.......my pc thot i was in camp somewhere and not picking up my calls (my phone was on low batt as well), so he got the whole company's worth of men to look around all the facilities in plc camp........all this cos timothy told him i had supposedly booked in, in the book when i was still outside.......all this happened and i didnt noe anything about it until like jeremy msged me on my way back........in a series of unfortunate events, i took longer than i wanted to get back near to camp, like the train broke down, i missed the bus and i walked to another 2 or 3 bus stops and waited at the first one jus to find the buses i had to take didnt stop there, so i had to run/walk/sprint when the bus was approaching to the next and then the next, its quite a distance.....super sian experience......then sweating and all, i cant think straight, by the time i reach near camp it was around the normal time dat the specs on course would come back from gedong so i hesitated to jus walk into camp, if i was seen it would be crap to me la (yeayeayea as if i wasnt in much crap already but i didnt noe la, my phone had died already by now so i dunno anything, i cant think straight, dunno the situation, dunno wad to do next)........so i waited and hung around the bridge.......then i walked abit to the perimeter of the camp, i even thot of climbing over the fence, yes i was dat desperate to get out form this sticky situation and jus pretend to be in camp all the while, having been talking to a fren or sumtin all the while etc.....


to cut the long story short, i finally decided to walk into camp after like an hour plus of pacing, thinking, delibrating, considering my options, weighing them while feeling all sticky and desperate and crazy.......its not a nice feeling to be in.......oh well as i was going into camp, i met jeremy as he was walking out for nite's out........thank God i met him too if not my punishment would have been worst if i had cooked up a different story from the truth........because he told me dat timothy had already surrendered and typed out the messages dat i had sent him the moment he felt that he was going to get implicated......i mean its fine if he sorta betrayed me by typing out all the messages i sent him and all but i felt dat he should at least be man enough, have the guts to tell me about it to my face, i jus imagine wad would have happened if i didnt meet jeremy on the way, i'll seriously get screwed over in too many other ways than one.....and wads more he told jeremy not to tell me he was the one who sabo-ed me......jus thinking of dat makes me boiling mad and bitter la......i mean no matter how gay he is, how can he do such an un-man thing?! where did his guts go man......argh pissed........


then after dat i spinned some story to my pc, with bits of the truth interleaved, not so much to save my ass but really to not implicate qin en cos he helped me sign in everything.......but i jus could think on the spot fast enough to fabricate a good story where all the timings match and stuff.......i tried to do so but there was like 1 hr plus unaccounted for or rather i didnt noe wad to say i did during dat time........so i jus broke..........i asked my ps to get out of the room (he was not helping at all la, he was jus giving stinging comments which made me wannna jus go for his throat, like who he think he is, say things even my pc didnt say), i asked my pc to stop the recording of the 'interview/interrogation' and then i related to him the truth on a personal level (cos i knew him since bmt, we were the same platoon, jus dat now he is an officer and now im only a 3rd sgt somewhat under him).......after dat he jus made me write down a statement of everything i told him then he confiscated my camp pass and 11b so i couldnt book out for day day.......well i was allowed to book out on 24th feb first then my oc would talk to me on monday about this incident........so thus the below account from my phone.......


this is the date where i testify and really thank God for providing me with such great frens who support me and care about me.......jus earlier this book in i went into the bunk with all the my batch specialists from the same ati course to ask jeremy sumtin.........they were all seated in a circle and jeremy had already told them the story of wad had happened last tuesday (for ur benefit it was 17th feb)........yu to sorta dragged me to sit inside the circle as they were all anxious to know my scenario and ask how i felt. discuss whether i might get 28 days sol (stoppage of leave, meaning i stay in camp for 28 days then i havta report at least 4 times everyday, weekends is 7 times a day) or 3 days db (military prison)........any normal person would choose 28 days sol cos even tho the time period is much longer, there's no black record, while going into db means ur whole future is basically ruined......u can't get into uni, its harder to get a job with a black record outside of army etc......the list goes on la.......they were saying (well ellwangen suggested it, i'd give him credit and much thanks for dat) they would want to petition my oc if i really get the db sentence to ask him to show leniency and mayb change it to the sol sentence instead which is far betta compared to the former.......they also wanted to petition my oc to reduce the sentence of the sol if it was like too many days.........which i knew would probably not amount to much of anything even if they did anything but i was very touched by the thought, the gesture etc.......


i was very deeply touched to have this community and i can't be thankful enough dat God is so sovereign dat He provides (and uses) non-christians! to encourage me in thus a way......for one of the few times i remember, there was no prejudice, no judging, jus a common compassion for my case, which really watmed my heart to its deepest core ever........how nice it would be if zion (or any other community)was such a community of love like this and more!! i will yet hope in the Lord dat this will be the case in zion in my generation!! i can already imagine the sweetness of communion and fellowship in the gates of zion..........HOPE.....there is yet hope for God's ppl in zion........


anyway after dat i stayed on as they related stories, both good and bad from their time in new zealand........had a great time laughing at random jokes and events..........now the sentence later in the day still weighs on and i havta sleep now to wake up early tml at 7 plus am to standby in the office for my oc to talk to me anytime from then..........i can't sleep in but oh wells i can always catch up on sleep later on in the day.......time to pray and thank God and then go to bed.........nite.........


post ended as per date and time written below........

i could be in new zealand now......

yeah as the title states i could be in new zealand now, but i chose not to go..........y might u ask? well i'll explain.......


a bunch of my frens from msu, my company, from the same armour batch as me in ATI (armour training institute), [aka the people who i trained with to become armour specialists] flew off to New Zealand jus earlier in the evening yesterday.......i went to the airport to send them off.....


well they went to NZ as part of some training their platoon is going to have......so onli their platoon ppl from our company(specialists, officer, and men and some other volunteers and some forced to go) and the 3 sir ppl and some 21 sa ppl and other support personnel are going for this......i think they will have some combined forces live firing same as wad we had in wallaby.....well now onto y i chose not to go even though i could have been with them, even tho i probably wont have much to do there except keep clearing all the shit work for them lol.......in ns we call this termed as "sai kang".....and jus enjoying myself for about onli 2 weeks, the last time we all can "chiong" together overseas (and potentially locally until we ord) as a same cohord, it would be quite memorable i must say.......and a part of me really doesnt mind to go there and experience wad new zealand is like, after all its free, saf is paying for ur almost-holiday-like trip, y not rite? in fact when i recently told my dad dat i was not going to new zealand, even he told me i should have gone, but i had already more or less made up my mind dat the negatives outweigh the plus points of enjoying the camaraderie of a few frens i've grown closer to since coming to msu......

wad could be so bad as to deter me from going to such a fine trip? well quite abit, push and pull factors here and there.......firstly all the regular officers from our company are going, meaning there is no one to be in charge of the ppl left behind except the pcs who are from our batch so almost no government lol, relax life onli lol, everyday can go swim,gym,play pool or use the comm in the mess, play sports or all of the above if i have the time and energy lol.......well another reason i dun wanna go is also because of the regulars as well.......hmm my oc is actually a very nice guy, very kind and like quite easy to go to him for requests and stuff like dat so like nothing to say about him la......well the problems lie with my 2ic and my csm haiz........welll how about a little profile on the both of them?

2ic

• looks like a lizard

• rank is mwo
  

• likes to hunt them and reptiles and drink their soup cos he says its good for the constituition -- they are cold-blooded, they keep warm even though they live in warm places

• 50 yrs old

• ippt gold somehow (but its like way easier at his age)

• father of 4 (he likes to brag this irrelevant fact somehow, so wad?)

• likes to pluck durians from sungei gedong road there (now its banned)

• hasnt got his liscence yet despite his age

• always illegally takes our company driver's rovers, gp cars or ford everests to drive so dat he can chalk up his mileage of 7000km for his conversion to civi license

• got his license suspended or sumtin or got a scolding from the CO of transport hub west for shooting past a red light on a public road (haha loser)

• mad old dog at times

• half the time doesnt know wads going on in the company, and yet wants to stick his shit head in matters (but at least he does work), end up getting scolded by our oc heh

• insists on really ridiculous things at times

• sometimes fraks u for nothing

• jus another boot-licking, ass-covering shit head regular in the army

• insists his way is always rite sometimes

• doesnt value his hairstyle cos its always crew cut

• at loggerheads with csm
  

csm

• mad old dog at times

• cannot be argued with

• likes to scold ppl with knn and frak

• fraks ppl for nothing alot of the times

• likes to ask our poor company cq to da pao alot of fruits from the cookhouse for him to bring home to juice (gian peng aka miserly)

• jus another boot-licking, ass-covering shit head regular in the army

• insists his way is always rite, and i mean ALWAYS, even if its walking a certain way and stuff, yes its dat ridiculous....

• doesnt value his hairstyle cos its always crew cut

• at loggerheads with 2ic

• never really listens to u unless u are there to lick his boots aka do his shitwork for him

• a real slacker who never does any work, he makes us poor nsf do the work for him

• a waste of saf resources

• looks like a bastard goldfish

• is a sacarstic jackass (when u anger him)
  

• rank is 2nd wo
  

• no point arguing with him cos u'll jus get fraked and then forced to do it his way
  

haha ok dats enough profile on both of them la........even though there seem to be more points for my 2ic, my frens still feel dat he is betta to work with than csm even though he gets in the way alot of the time, the one thing is dat he does his job (no matter how poorly and how old-skool soldier his thinking is)........csm doesnt does his job and all he noes is dat he is always rite, never wrong in any way, i hate this kinda thinking......well sometimes i hate 2ic too but at least he listens at times and he is willing to take suggestions and explanations in getting away from doing certain things when ur involved in other things (when ur actually slacking away but he doesnt havta noe dat....) BUT csm however never listens to u, arguing ur case to him is like jus asking for a good fraking then going on with ur life and end up doing things his way in the end.......so i try as hard as possible not to have any contact with csm or to do things with him.......nowadays i dun even want to see him or vice versa, cos nothing good comes when either him or 2ic is around......so we the old specs always do the disappearing act when they appear, i guess we've refined our skill over time already heh.......


well yeah back to the main point on y i dun wanna go becos of them........well before the time i could call recently, which is our company lull period so they dun really bother about us, plus they were preparing to go nz anyway........yeah before dat, there was one period of time i was getting aimed by both of them la, getting fraked for nothing alot of the time, esp during the time in wallaby lol......walao i damn emo then lol.......but thank God for frens who were under the same platoon as i was in, they helped me manage alot of tough situations and helped me by either talking to me or helping me in some of my duties lol, really thankful for them, i guess it was there when i really built real camaraderie with the specialists of my batch, esp jia wei, jeremy, jeremiah ng, wee kiat....


yeah it was the five of us alot of the times even bathing times, meal times together and stuff.......cos the other half of our company supposy platoon were armour converted infantry specs so onli like 5 of us were purely from armour and stuff like dat, dat was wad made us stay together alot of the times, and looking back at it i enjoyed times with them alot......now a few of them have moved out of support platoon ready, some no more in charge of vehicles like wee kiat and jeremiah ng, then jia wei became the ps of another fighting platoon, plat 1......so now left jeremy and i......well i must say dat i now noe jeremy alot betta than in ati cos we talk more and go out together more as well......coincedentally jeremy and i (and qin en) are not going to new zealand lol, qin en and i chose not to go but jeremy couldnt go cos of his passport but today he was also having 2nd thots of wanting to go in the first place haha........


back to me being aimed at......meaning 2ic and csm will jus pick on me for the very very small things dat other ppl commit as well but somehow im like the onli one being scolded for it and i hate dat lol.......worst is when i cannot explain my case to them lol.......sometimes its not as dat i want to be the one sticking out but its like sometimes the situation and things happening make me have to choose a different path than the norm.......OR sometimes i jus really cant see y ppl cant be more flexible lol, y must they all jus go and do the same thing jus becos other ppl are doing it? its like so brainless to me la......so i jus out of curiousity try another way.......like dat oso got wrong meh? what the crap, im jus trying to find a betta way to do things.......some of my batch specs think and say dat im a stunt man, its not dat i want to be, can u blame me for all this cos the way i was brought up or the way i think is different? i tell u now no one, NO ONE wants to be a stuntman or labelled one even..........wad with all dat mindless following, being in ns in itself already kills ur brain cells cos even when u book out, when ppl say things considered normal to civilian life without ns, u think of ns terms......cant think of any now but a small example is like things are beyond ur control and stuff the first thing an ns personnel thinks about it the word suck thumb..........haiz all this wastage of our time and singapore's resources in brain-washing us to be mindless soldiers in a system dat works best onli for those on top but never for those on the ground or near bottom like us specialists, seeing the quality of regulars serving our army like 2ic and csm, i cant help but wish for betta, younger regular soldiers taking over their places, willing to change their ways and stuff like dat but until ord dat is like wishful thinking lol,(if not units like ours are jus another set of useless pawns with no purpose in war and wad not) oh wells so i jus havta bear with for another 104 or 103 more days till i get my pink IC again haiz......sometimes how i wish i was an officer in commandos or sumtin with more pride cos even tho im armour trained (its a pride in itself) but my unit msu like so chui, all pride is lost la(despite us not having to do guard duty, no canteen duty for c.o.s. , no need to do SOC ever again amongst other benefits).........wishful thinking again on my part..........


yeah so i dun wanna go to new zealand cos of them, wad for man? if i go i would be going there to enjoy myself and not get aimed at by 2ic and csm, for nothing get arrows for sai kang and for nothing set myself up for extra duties and wad not (if they still exist)......wad for? might as well enjoy myself in singapore not doing much of anything, enjoying this whole week off and stuff like dat......well the ppl from my batch did ask me to go chiong with them for the last time, and i really wanted to do dat but this con alone is too great a deterence so i chose not to go on this.......moreover this fat ass specialist from my same batch dat i really hate, chin boon is going, or forced to go..........i dunno wad happened between me and him, y he suddenly become so fraked up towards me......mayb he was always this way or worst in poly i heard from jeremy who knew him since then.........he is a very sacarstic fellow dat likes to suck up to superiors or those in power, stepping and backstabbing others to get wad he wants and where he wants to go.......its not exactly private dat alot of ppl really hate him, perhaps more than 2ic or even the bastard csm.......chin boon like to suck up to csm, talking to him alot and saying things dat trash others or wad if its wad csm wants to hear.......hate is a strong word to use but i am really almost on the verge of jus throwing caution to the wind and jus give him a very very good whacking of his life, land him in hospital and mayb land myself serving db, having a black record........hmm db, having a black record and stuff is not really anything any nsf or ns man even thinks about but im almost willing to get all dat if i can jus whack him into hospital or mayb even killing him.......haiz i must have killed him countless times over in my mind, i really cannot fathom y would such a person exist, like he jus shoots his mouth talking absolutely stinging rubbish jus for the fun of it it seems, one of these days somebody should stop him from shooting his mouth without giving much of a second thot to it, whenever i think about the fraked up things he has said to me or within my earshot, i boil up with enough anger to give my freedom away and give him the greatest beating he so deserves since the day he was born.......BUT thank God for a thing called rational thinking, i dun want time in db, and a black record, no matter how tempting it is to whack him half to dead or full to it with my bare hands alone, he is not worth my time and the record against my name.......fraking fat blob of fats.....well i thank God oso for the date of my ORD coming nearer and nearer before his.....soon the bearing with all the shitty life with him and 2ic and csm will be over and i will be a free man again, until then then i think about whacking him, if i still remember he exists at all in the first place lol.......so there another reason, its like 0428hrs now, wed, 280109, i havta go sleep, damn shagged.........


well another reason y i dun wanna go is more a pull factor back in singapore heh....well cos as i said all the regulars are going and stuff, dat means almost no one to govern us so we can more or less do wad we want in singapore until they all come back cos the pcs dun really bother about us......so finally we're getting a taste of wad specialists in bmt experience all the time......we're living like kings, we do wad we want when we want yayy.......


needless to say the last reason is the most obvious, the ppl staying behind get to enjoy more of their chinese new year cos the lot flew off on the 2nd day of the lunar new year ma, so some of them haven finished visiting and stuff, not to mention the feeling of u going to chiong while others are slacking the week off and stuff.......it sucks la basically speaking but wad to do, SUCK THUMB lol......wad else can ppl do but tell u to suck thumb? who's going to pity u for example when ur stuck with duty jus waiting in the office doing nothing till about 10pm for ppl to come back from some crap parade and end up missing ur own family reunion dinner? (it happened to me this year and i jus feel damn bummed about it)......but oh wells its over ready, onli thing is dat this sunday i havta go back to open the office earlier lol.....or mayb not, see if i can work something out la......sians......but yeah anyway this week i (and all the rest of the company who stayed behind in singapore) am (are) on leave, 2 days off from oc, besides the 2 days of public hols i think, then the rest is forced us to clear one lol......so now we're all on leave/off lol while the others are probably unpacking and getting used to new zealand's ultra cold weather i heard, but saf indented the thermal wear for them plus they all bring their own stuff to keep warm and stuff so shouldnt be dat bad la, freezing half to death at nite and burning hot in the day in aust should have been lesson enough for them heh.....well as an ending note the ppl leaving for new zealand all were very emo at spending time overseas during the bulk of the lunar new year, as well as coming back onli on valentine's day for those ppl attached......well not to gloat at them being emo or wad la, but i never realised the feeling of sending ppl going overseas off was so nice, esp when ur the ones not going, the feeling is jus different, esp so for us from the same company and yet are staying behind in singapore for a relaxed life heh.......but still i wish them all the best in their time over there, dat there wont be any incidents or accidents and dat they will not have much sai kang to do and stuff heh.......meanwhile i (we all) will continue to enjoy our freedom to do wad we want while we all can heh.....i damn tired now, going to bathe and sleep, i bought berms earlier today heh.....quite nice $15 from bugis street, spent quite awhile searching for it, including checking out many shops with jeremy, qin en and wee kiat when he hadnt left yet.....its mainly white with very thin lines or patterns, next time i will wear it out or for yf dat kinda thing....jeremy might be selling me his brown berms if he can find lol.....dats all for tonite and for now heh.....my bed my bed here i enthusiastically come!!!


ET: rite extra terrestrial, still ur nickname will stick and stay there for a very long while....

xiao en: haha random meh? u were talking about being wordy ma haha.....haha dats good to hear.....mayb i always have alot to say cos i take awhile to update heh....sometimes longer than at different times.....haha dun photos have captions to describe them too? hurhur....one kind of ......O.O......i like to eat niu rou heh......haha hopefully it'll be soon yeah.....erhm no problem, at least ur talking about different things, not spamming so its fine.......

2009! meet ups with 2 good friends

1st Jan 2009, first day of the niu year


well i realised from the buffet day before yesterday (or rather ages ago from now) dat there were quite a few places to walk in novena square 2, not to mention i saw some shop named warouku japanese pasta.....which sold the squid ink pasta, i was jus dying to try lol since titus told me i should try it......i finally got the chance to meet up with snow white one on one.....and i really had a great time jus talking to my best fren personally, asking him personal questions, getting to noe y he is seemingly always so busy......before eating we went to this shop dat was mainly closed for their stock taking, i jus walked in cos i wanted to buy a GREEN towel, those kind dat is very absorbant and very easy to dry dat kind.......actually the shop was closed but they allowed me to make my purchase cos it was jus one item, and they had already finished their stock taking so wells thank God dat i managed to get the towel i've been longing to buy even tho the shop seemed closed until new year comes lol.......well back to the food, andrew got bigger quantities of food as compared to mine even tho we paid the same price for our meals........cos i ordered the squid ink pasta and andrew ordered some mix thingy which had soup and wad not lol.......we tried each other's food, his was jus ok la.....mine wasnt dat fabulous oso la.......but it definitely made my teeth and lips black lol, squid ink ma......but it was fun, wanted to take a picture of my teeth being black but i guess the black faded rather quickly when ur eating food, i onli have food evidence dat my teeth was slightly black not totally.........after eating andrew insisted on paying for my meal for some reason, i tried to pay but he wouldnt let me, very nice of him to treat me, i feel quite blessed.....i would treat him to something next time lol....after dat we walked around novena square 2 and velocity lol......not bad la quite a few things to see there......and in square 2, there were levels dat sold specifically japanese stuff and another level for exclusively korean merchandise.......i treated andrew to ice cream from some shop in square 2..........after dat we left there for our own homes.....photos of our food uploaded on facebook ready......


2nd Jan 2009

haha still not really used to typing out 2009 lol, 2008 oso i guess.....but i guess dats jus due to me not blogging dat regularly la i guess....well will try to blog more regularly......hmm oh ya today i met titus around lunch time at bugis junction lol, as usual i was slightly late, mayb a few minutes, cos i left the house late due to using the comm, its the one thing dat i can spend hours on and after dat find out dat i have actually not really accomplished much, it gets kinda depressing actually......but yeah my home comm got quite a few stuff inside, specific for my use la, like utorrent, meddling with the virus scanning program, sorting songs and putting them in my mp3 player, converting existing movies i have to be able to put into my mp3 player (one thing i really hate to do, cos it wastes time and all, i regret buying this mp3 player but since i've already bought it and it serves its purpose, jus live with it lol, no point crying over spilt milk.......) etc, well yes there is alot of things to do on my home comm.......

mm yes back to the meet up with titus.....this is the day dat he set aside for me lol cos since he got back i already hounded him alot of times to set aside a day to meet up one on one......so he set aside today, the 2nd of jan....can u imagine how many meet ups he must have had? something like 5 buffets since he came back.....he told me when we did meet up.....but wad i mean is dat he is so busy meeting up with ppl since he got back dat the only dat i can spend alone with him is today lol......he was back for about a month or so lol......sometimes i feel dat he is closer to more of his skool frens dat almost to the point dat i dun feel im dat close to him anymore, in some ways like i've lost a good fren i grew up with for many years of my life........i guess im not the onli one who feels this la, i noe this, many ppl feel like their losing their frens when they havta 'share' their frens or even best frens with other frens whom u may not be as close to......this kinda thing happens alot in church, yf and mayb all other social settings.......still dunno how really to handle this kinda situation, one way is to suck thumb and somehow watch the frenship fade as u become less important in dat person's life, feeling dat there's nothing u can do to help the situation.......the other option is trying ur best to get back ur frens in whatever means possible.......i guess personally im not very good at the 2nd option......there have been a few frens whom i was relatively close to before, but slowly we have faded in importance in each others' lives and we probably know as much about each other now as when we first became frens, its like going back to the forming, storming phase of friendship again, even tho we have been thru dat ages before.....i dunno how to stop this thing from happening, i can onli but stand by and watch big-eyed and bewildered and confused, watching this happen haiz.......

BUT haha somehow talking with titus after so long (i didnt talk to him much online or wad not after he had left for overseas cos of clashing time zones, lack of free time from either side), i felt dat he still values the frenship with me, even though we dunno wad has been going on in each other's lives since we last saw each other........well he onli knows dat i went to australia to train, had a horrible time there etc, the major things la.......hmm jus catching up with him was a nice way to spend the afternoon........we ate at the temp hawker centre at bugis, there was alot of variety in terms of food......we ate simple hawker fare and we enjoyed it, we ordered about 2 local dishes each and we shared among ourselves.....we were stuffed after dat.....anyway we talked about our lives and how it was going, our brothers and how they were doing......i managed to find out abit about wad amos is going thru in army (of course some things i wont share here cos to respect his privacy and mayb the confidence dat titus had in telling me), well i hope i can be an encouragement to amos even after i ORD cos the times in army is actually not as easy to get by as u think.....more on the actual struggles guys face in army next time, nearer or after my ORD or a few days from now heh........well after our food we walked around bugis market, looking at berms, there are really alot of shops there selling alot of berms dat bear similar patterns and designs, i was so spoilt for choice dat i didnt buy any from there cos there are jus so many shops, pricing all around the same prices one so i decided to wait until i get a 2nd opinion on which shop is good heh.....well after walking around we decided to catch the movie ipman cause there was still time before titus's next meeting with another fren, titus jus decided he wanted to treat me to the movie, quite a pleasant suprise hmm, i feel quite blessed......when he went to buy the tics i had to plant a bomb hmm dat resulted in us getting into the cinema slightly late, the show had already started, about 4 or 5 mins into the show, we missed the very first fight scene but thankfully we could still catch the gist of the show.......it was a very visuall captivating show.......all the fighting moves and stuff, i like it alot! makes me want to learn wing chun fist sometime, really im serious about learning, if i can find the place dat teaches the authentic kung fu, and they are not involved in ancestral worship and stuff like dat, cos its sorta against christianity and all......well but even if i learn, honestly speaking i might be tempted to use it more on my fren i cant stand in army, beating the living day lights out of him lol.......but i think its good to learn for self-defence la, like imagine someone try to mug u or sumtin then u jus own the guy upside down heh.......all this part of some boyhood fantasy heh.....it would be impressive if u jus turned the tables instead of being owned almost all of the time.........well after dat great movie, we went to shop abit more for awhile at bugis parco junction there, we went into this shop which i saw from the escalator as we were going up to the cinema, selling designer tees........it was quite abit more than i would normally pay for a shirt i must say......it was like $35 for one piece and like $59.50 for 2.......i took quite awhile with the help of titus deciding on which 2 shirts to get cos i wanted quite a few.....about 5 if i can remember correctly........well end up i bought 2, one of which i will wear at chinese niu year heh.....the other one i wore (which titus picked for me) on one of the sundays and i booked in wearing it before and alot of ppl said it was nice.....quite happy heh......the other one is nicer, yellow with a gradient of colour......next time ask me to show u lol......then we went to another shop selling berms but the prices were more ex, and it was more or less the same designs lol......but one thing i noticed at this shop was the black matted pull-over vest, jus the thing i was looking for! but its like $40 or so, abit ex leh, by the way the berms were selling for about $35 or so.....as compared to $15 or less at bugis market.....haiz, price differences dats the main thing in shopping i found out hurhur......hmm after all dat titus had to rush off to meet another fren so we parted ways lol..........but yeah it was good to finally be able to meet up with my 2 best frens ever over a relaxed meal and afternoon of talking, wad a nice way to start the new year............


xiaoen: haha thanks for tagging, change back to ur "i love u, daddy" blogskin.....haha i hav patience mayb but my memory is not dat good la......i had abit of help from the reminders i put in my phone calendar dat i haven deleted yet......haha i see, (this is for grace, xiao en to reply on) do u think i talk too much? i jus have alot of thoughts about alot of things hmm......hahah u mean u actually have non-word posts? hahah.....haha happy niu year to u too......haha if i'm not wrong dong dong chiang is not a good thing to wish ppl, in the hokkien context i think, but dun worry, non offence taken.......

ET: rite ur not spamming anymore, who would believe u? esp when u used 4 tags to say wad u could in 1 or 2 tags haha.....nothing wrong with spamming la, my tag board hardly got ppl tagging anyway, but dun overdo it, it'll get irritating to see all nonsense on my tagboard....... hurhur ur birthday is boxing day? ok next time if i see u then i will box u too k? erhm i cant haven forgotten to put it in if i didnt even noe in the first place rite?

caroling at food for thought + all the december fun

(sidenote, yes i noe im still blogging about past events but its like something i must get done first then i can start blogging about present events, hopefully i can be done soon)

now, pretend its 24th of Dec 2008, yes caroling at food for thought, how smart.....o_O

hmm i woke up 'today' at about 6 plus i think (if i remember correctly), jus nice to get ready to go out everything....so i grabbed my guitar, which still had the carols chords and lyrics inside the guitar bag.....and made my way there to bugis from my house......i kinda got abit lost cos it was my 2nd time getting to food for thought besides my 21st brithday dinner which was spent there.......anyway i thot i was late but apparently when i reached they had jus ordered dinner......i thot cos i was late i wont be joining for dinner, i dinno they were having dinner at food for thought itself.....it was a more expensive meal than i expected but oh wells of late i've been allowing myself all these little indulgences, esp cos i was on a rather long block leave and all......so meeting up with peeps and spending at least 10 plus inclusive of the extra 17% gst & service charge at some places......then some places like $35.20 total per person, makes me feel super broke.....i had at least 4 or 5 10+ meals at different places, with different ppl.....well i'll say more on dat later......was quite suprised to see small pockets of ppl from different social circles jus gathering at the table, like i was not suprised to see nat and ruth there, cos their boss was the one who asked (er hem ordered, no la) them to bring their frens to carol there.....then some ppl from the normal i-dunno-wad-to-call-this-group clique, david chua, yan wei, priscilla (of cos she's another bennett jamir wad haha) and by association penuel as musician.....then zach and i musicians cos nat and ruth called us......i was abit suprised to see lizzy and lucy there from my ag, and even more suprising was lynette and melinda......nice and rare mix of ppl getting together which is nice, it jus breaks all the so-called social norms.....




oh ya back to caroling at food for thought.......dinner was good food as usual as wad u can expect from there heh....anyway after dat, nat, zac and i went to back door entrance of FFT (the one leading to the nearby toilet) to practice the carols.....wa zach is one kind of best lol......he comes for caroling and he brings a guitar with the last string still snapped, he didnt bring any pick or tuner to tune his guitar, one kind of what i'd call unprepared la.....anyway i felt more relieved when i heard penuel was coming to play as well, even more relieved when he actually came jus in time......if he didnt come at all, i might have jus died at some songs, as i always say its not dat i cant play adequately well enough but i jus dun have the confidence for certain songs.......ah wells since penuel was the more pro one he played by himself nearer the counter top tables then zach and i played at the end of the cafe at our tables where we sat....its really a tight squeeze cos the food for thought walking space is not really very big lol......if u have visited the cafe before or jus peered in thru the glass window, u can probably tell the shop space is not a very big one, but i guess it contributes to its warm atmosphere.......erhm caroling went well i guess, we played a few songs (which we did abit late, like one beat or mayb half off or sumtin like dat but its ok, guess nobody noticed it) then we opened it to the guests in the cafe......the most heart pounding and i'd say nervous part of the caroling......good thing they chose the more familiar and more common songs ......so we had a blast playing carols la, but i think the gloria song and another song zach and i jus didnt play cos penuel was playing qithout the chordsheet we had so he was jus playing on a diff note or sumtin so we got owned on dat particular song lol........but we went totally crazy on one song la, i think it was joy to the world or sumtin, cant really remember the name of the song....the chord change was quite mad and i strummed a variation to the normal pattern and i really had loads of fun playing dat song, it was a guitar high man, dunno how to explain it but im always very happy when i can play the guitar well, all glory be to God.....had a blast.......when we were done, we were very kindly treated to i think 2 plates worth of 3 or 4 types of cakes sold at FFT from the boss himself and lemon tea as well for each of us there (of course we all shared 2 plates worth of cakes, not like we had 2 plates each, i think they will go broke if they jus gave out 2 plates of cakes to each of us lol....very nice of him and did i mention the cakes are really good too heh.....i should/could be a food critique next time (well mayb.....career option mayb? hmm i'd havta think about it.......)


well, im glad we managed to bring the meaning of christmas to random ppl we dont even know and hopefully they were touched deeply by the message of christmas......there was mainly this group of frens celebrating their fren's 21st birthday, haha hope dat was memorable for him too, i think its a 21st to remember......well so we were going off and while we were walking to the mrt, david, yan wei and nat were singing christmas carols in harmony and trying out the various pitches a song could have, quite interesting la but i was kinda immersed in my own thots abit, thinking about my kite, if i should let it go......hmm on a sidenote, melinda and i will be going to haji lane sometime to check out stuff, and eat prawn mee there, melinda says its good....whoo i might jus spend a fortune there heh, never been there before......


25th December 2008! CHRISTmas service 1030am!

hmm one of the christmas services dat my mom rarely attends but this (last) year she went, as expected i woke up pretty late from sleeping late again i think, think i slept at 5 plus the nite before......then i woke at about 940 thereabouts, it was 10 before u knew it, by the time my mom and i got ready.......andrew had already left much earlier by bus, john stayed home cos he was apparently 'to tired'......so for the first time i paid for the cab to church on my own accord......normally my dad does the paying, esp when we're going to church on sundays......but anyway it was really madness after the christmas service, with everybody going around finding the specific person they wanna give gifts to......i tried it myself, its quite mad, even with me giving out like onli 30+ this year.......its quite hilarious, cos as u set out to look for a certain person A, u find another person B u wanna give to and like calling dat person B to wait for awhile while u search for his/her gift then after giving to B u see A walking to some other place, then as u are chasing A u see C and then ask them to wait and stuff like dat heh......mad rush la, so many ppl dat u hardly see in bishan come back as CEOs (christmas, easter onli heh).......well i received quite abit of stuff from quite a few ppl, some ppl more unexpected than others.....i noe its rather late but i jus wanna say a thank u to all those who gave me gifts even those who gave me super late (ar hem tan rachel) and also the ppl who gave me little chocolates and stuff as well as al those ppl i managed to exchange handshakes with......hmm after all the rush it was lunch and then back home i guess, cant remember anything else.......(pictures of all my christmas presents will be on facebook!)


26th Dec 2008

haha actually i dun quite remember wad happened on dat day leh.....it was quite awhile ago.......hmm i jus noe dat i didnt get much rest on dat day (as well)......think i went to play badminton at bishan or did i? cant rmb....


27th Dec 2008

well its the day of the 87ers gathering dat we have been so eagerly awaiting lol......we were talking abit about it (or rather they were talking about it, i jus happened to hear about it, im not dat close to any of the main ppl in the year 87, the onli ppl i noe well are my very best of buds Andrew White Tan and Titus BOSS Seah heh)....well so it finally happened, it finally became real when the other sarah tan (clair's sister, not bee hui, the one we normally see around the pa stuff in bishan) came back form overseas (i cant remember from where now heh oops).....then we had our long awaited gathering.....mayboo is a genius lol, one kind of rich la, she chose the place i think and sorta had the help of ale to organise the whole thing lol.........guess wad mayboo chose a place called Hokkaido Japanese Restaurant all the way at the rather dead Turf City.....one kind of far, and not onli dat the price of the meal there is like $35.20 per person! for buffet la nonetheless but even then? its like super ex.......even the rich lucas and titus had to borrow some money from me cos i jus drew $50 before going there.....still the price was much steeper than we all expected......oh wells but we made up for it with all the fun we had eating and talking nonsense, doing nonsense heh......




andrew had already ate a tim sum buffet earlier at lunch so he was the onli 'ala carte' at the table of 16 heh (yeah dats how many 87ers turned up whee)......it was quite hilarious cos we kept making fun of his ala carte tag which they put at his place, made him take photos with it and his fried rice he ordered lol......but anyway we gave andrew quite abit of food we wanted to finish so we could get rid of the plates and stuff, and andrew as always wad very funny la, he had to wait until the waiters or waitresses were out of sight before he would pop the food into his mouth very quickly, jus like a small boy doing sumtin wrong lol......so funny, oh wells dats my childhood best fren for u........hmm some other fun parts was playing with the pea pods we ordered for fun [oh ya as expected for buffets we jus ordered whatever lol, and after awhile watever food came we jus ate lol, regardless of whether we did order it or not.......so i guess we ended eating alot of the food other ppl (from the other half of the table i mean) ordered and vice-versa.....] well well the pods, heh it was fun cos i think lucas started it by saying dat u could pop the peas to shoot at somebody if u pressed hard enough, soon a bunch of us were trying dat haha........titus managed to slip 1 into andrew's hot tea and about 2 into sarah's tea before he got caught by runner heh.....titus the madman eventually ate the pea in andrew's tea heh......lol......titus also ate the 'cooked' sashimi he threw into andrew's tea lol, cos andrew's tea was hot rite so the sashimi got 3/4 cooked lol......disgusting stuff but oh wells we're jus having fun......sarah exacted her rarraness by popping a few peas into titus''s tea.......so he had to dig them out to eat using his chopsticks (they didnt provide us with spoons lol), check out lucas's pictures on facebook to find out more.......then another highlight was the stuffing of one of the tou fus dat we couldnt finish with loads of wasabe! whee haha dat was the most hilarious thing of the nite heh......nicklaus, reuben they all flipped the tou fu around and stuffed wasabe underneath lol, meaning wasabe was stuffed like the filling of the toufu lol.......we wanted to make ying quan eat it but we failed.......the other sarah tan almost ate it but mabel spoilt out plans.....it would have been very hilarious to see her reaction if she had eaten it lol........mabel guessed there was sumtin wrong when we all kept quiet for once and all happened to look in the other sarah tan's direction lol......oh wells it might have turned rather nasty if she really ate it anyway......but it was fun while it lasted.........after dat lucas and a few others went on to some place nearby to turf city for supper......andrew fetched bee hui, titus, mabel home......i was in his car as well but i dropped off near his house to take a bus home myself from there.........


28th Dec 2008

hmm dat was a sunday so jus like any other sunday perhaps (oh ya melinda jacked herself twice cos she didnt believe the 28th was jasmine's birthday when i told her so, she had to ask jasmine herself TWICE heh onli to realise she jacked herself, heh genius, oh i remember now......it was the last sunday of the year and the little children across the levels had their open sunday thing......its this thing where they all gather together and then sing songs, have fun among other things......basically it means no lessons for them lol......the children were told to sing the song starting with "on the first day of christmas, my true love sent to me......" oh haha i rmb the song, its the 12 days of christmas lol....hmm if i remember correctly it was jeremie biancherie's (oops cant rember how to spell his last name, sumtin like dat la) farewell dinner after dat at june's place i think, i made my way there after playing a fantastic game of floorball........stopped at the wrong bus stop then i had to walk back lol.....anyway when i got there, most of the rest had already started cooking....so i went to the front garage thingy to start fire, im a arsonist heh.....with little tips from linus, li and i set up 2 fires and june let us use the cheater method, which was the ultra hot flame gun or whatever its called, its run on gas then the flame is uber hot dat kind, super cool like a mini flame thrower.....we used dat to heat up some of the bigger pieces of coal, i got burnt quite a few times starting and keeping the fire going cos the ambers from the fire jus jump out of the pit sometimes.....but thankfully it wasnt serious at all......we had a great time cooking and eating heh......there was pork chops, chicken wings, the wantons which sarah, ruth, lizzy, rachel and lucas deep fried (some came out as jus having the wanton skins onli, like empty wantons, how wanton [hurhur bad joke]) {they were trying to eat the one dat they personally hand wrapped lol and taking pictures with it....heh} and of course not to mention the UBER NICE BEEF ROASTED TO PERFECTION by our dear host, june low herself and david heng, not too much seasoning and spices and no marinate at all! jus the pure succulent juices of the tender beef!! specially ordered in a huge chunk, woah my mouth is starting to water at the mention of it, i wanna eat dat kinda beef again but i heard its ex lol....my stomach calls for it argh!!!! oh yeah one more thing i must mention is the french method of keeping the fire going.....haha they are mad la.....well see the ppl we were organising this farewell for were jeremie and john and end up they were the ones helping to not let the fire burn out heh.......their method is crazy lol.....on the ambering coals they jus heap more charcoal onto it and then they jus fan crazily literally until the fire jus comes out lol, gives another meaning totally to fanning the fire (out).......oh wells u havta be there to noe wad i mean la, the frenchmen are quite mad but apparently their method worked heh.....dats all to a fun and funny nite......we 21 yr olds played at the swing and see-saws too......well the ppl dat were there were david, li (for some time), june and justin low, aunty lily, mabel, ruth, sarah, lizzy, rachel, kin yip, aarlyn, lucas, joey and clarence popped by later, tim sng, chris, ale and qing yuan, of course the 2 frenchmen john and jeremie and lastly myself......wished i could have enjoyed myself more cos sometimes i tend to feel abit left out even though its sucha big group, cos like i wont get to talk to much ppl im closer to and then i would jus be around thinking my own thots or jus sticking around when others have conversations while im actually not really a part of the conversation per se, tho i appear to be heh (im quite good at making impressions dat im enjoying myself)......sometimes i wonder if i should jus quit this ag im in cos of feelings like this but i thank God dat time and again He provides ppl, sometimes random ppl to somehow encourage me to continue going for the ag cos the ag is not a setting jus for social interaction, and i do thank God for lizzy (of course andrew and titus no need to say la but when they around onli lol) for time and again encouraging me with little notelets here and there that she is always there for me if i need someone to talk to as well as assure me dat i'm one of her best frens in the ag (still), guess little things like dat really mean alot and i cant be thankful enough for her...........


29th Dec 2008

hmm today nothing much, jus wake up late and then go for the suopposed lao beijing xiao long bao buffet.....which was about $10 plus so not dat bad......aiya wad a disappointment lol, when we got there we found out it was not onli a xiao long bao buffet, there were other tim sum and like we could onli order like 2 baskets of xiao long bao at once......cos they would either run out of xiao long bao or they wouldnt be able to make it fast enough for our (and all the guest's) consumption lol i guess, but how i wish i can jus pay $10 plus for unlimited xiao long baos, and good ones of course not the inferior ones dat the skin breaks or it doesnt have soup in it or sumtin la, u noe jus basic standards......the lao beijing ones were not too bad, considering the mass ordering.....we ate alot as expected of any other normal buffets........lucas and titus loved the custard paos for some reason......they oso had like mini squid (the red ones), some scallob looking thing, oh ya noodles (i whacked like all 5 types of the noodles, so i tried every noodle thing on the menu, they came in very small bowls to it was jus appetisers but of course it seemed more jialat to finish it whe ur already full heh, im not a dan fu who is a bottomless pit for food), oh ya we ordered 2 plates of everything on the very short menu.......including shrimp dumplings or sumtin......then for the last part we had one whole plate of the shrimp dumplings (dat i ordered heh) dat no one wanted to finish unless forced to heh.....so to make things more fun, we played the game "zhong ji mi ma" aka the number in the middle literally translated into english lol......then someone would set the number, then the rest play lol......quite exciting, esp when we up the stakes the next time u got it.....i think angsty boy chris got it the worst cos he kept getting the number, hence having to eat more and more dumplings at a go each time.....haha besides chris i think ryan, lucas, titus, charlie (kenneth heng) and the bottomless pit dan fu had to eat their punishment/rewards worth.......haha....but we did great lol......we finished everything dat was brought to the table......and we had lots of fun......jus spending time with frens in sucha relaxed way was a very nice way to spend the day......we also joked about going up this ladder inside the restaurant and throwing xiao long baos at the customers and running around the top to evade the police who would probably come if one of us did really climb up heh......good times, i really enjoyed myself this time.....after dat we each went our separate ways, lucy and chris went on a date heh to watch australia haha, quite a comedian couple heh, one is so feminine inclined and the other is all angst and intenseness heh.....haha funny........


30th Dec 2008

hmm yet another day of meeting up with the ag (yes my holidays was pretty packed with ag related stuff lol).....we played badminton in the morning, this i remember suddenly cos i remeber i was out quite early in the morning and dat i had almost lost my phone on the bus on the way to badminton........i met shuan siang on the way to bishan stadium to play there......then i remember i didnt put my phone into my pocket but still as i was going down i checked my pocket and found it wasnt there, did a quick check at the seat and found nothing so i thot mayb i had jus slipped it into my bag, there wasnt time to check my bag on the bus so i got down with ss at the bus stop near to bishan stadium onli to find to my dismay dat i had not slipped my phone into my bag......i was sure i left it on the bus somehow then.......i ran all the way back to the interchange to find my phone but to no avail again, i even searched the bus but couldnt find it at all.....so sad.....this very kind lady of a bus interchange manager (or sth like dat) helped me give a call to my handphone to see if anyone had turned it off.....well to my suprise and delight, she called thru to my phone! and another kind lady had picked it up on the bus which i later found out dat she found it cos her son had also lost his own phone there, my phone had slipped deep into the gap between the seats....wow it really was a miracle dat i got my phone back......i started panicking at first when i lost it, then i gave up and jus ask God to help me recover it if it was His will and i really thank Him for it.....well i arranged to meet the kind lady who picked up my phone near the bishan stadium bus stop dat i had alighted at.....by the time i got there i was already sweating a lil bit cos of all the running around and panicking......but thank God once again He helped me to recover my phone which would have been lost otherwise.........after badminton and lunch above the interchange, i must say the beef rice there is really quite good, anything beef is quite tempting to me......then i went to sleep in the library with ruth while lucas went to penuel's house to bathe.......i was jus damn shagged, didnt want to do anything except sleep lol cause i was having headache, from lack of sleep i guess.......ruth also slept for some reason or another......after dat we packed into lucas's ride to fetch sarah and the cake (oh the cream cheese cake dat she "made with mabel", well mabel did little bits of the cake, like the biscuit crust base of the cake and she added condensed milk to the cream cheese heh.......the kind dat my mom always make cos she noes i like it, the cake was nice but its expensive to make.......hmm our ag organised this gathering at pitstop (sumtin like settlers or wad those kinda gaming cafes) in farewell of chris, titus and yi ling who were going back to ireland and london (i think its onli these 2 countries).....as well as the belated 21st birthday celebrations of kin yip and charlie (aka kenneth heng, for growing his horn out to mature stage....hahaha....kk private joke).....as well as supposedly for the january babies which i think didnt come at all if i remember correctly......we had alot of fun playing halle gali or sumtin like dat, the one dat u havta count the number of fruits and if any of them are five of a kind, then u ring the bell lol.......then some of them played new games which i never saw before......as expected they have a wide variety of games........we played bang and lucas kept getting killed by everyone first heh......haha guess he was a hot target heh.....quite fun....i should go and buy bang some time......and mayb halle gali jus for fun....welll next time if i see it when i go out heh........


31st Dec 2008

blogging on the the year of 2008 is ending soon please be patient heh........hmm i was supposed to have dinner with andrew onli today but i got stood up again lol cos dat white head mixed up the dates and he thot our ag dinner thing was today but actually it was yesterday la, our faults oso la, didnt msg him to remind him.....i think today his excuse (it was his last day of work ma) was cos he needed to hand over the reponsibilites at his job, forever busy one la snow whiteness, it jus seems like he is always busying himself with something or another.....oh wells i cant remember wad i was doing in the morning (if i was even awake in the first place) as well as in the afternoon, my memory fails me....well i onli noe i cycled to gardens at nite for the watchnite service....i went there quite early, at about 7pm or so like dat cos lucas told me the day before we were having dinner the next day (today).....so when i got there, i msged ruth, who was also talking about it the day before, then she tell me she is still at home lol, by the way her home is at chua chu kang or so lol.....then i msged lucas, he told me he at toa payoh eating durians with rachel and sarah lol....i was like o_O i kenna bluff lol....then lucas drove them to meet me and accompany me eat dinner lol......oh ya somehow ruth asked shuan siang to call me cos they were going for dinner too hmm? y she did dat i oso dunno.....oh wells anyway they came from david chua's place....i did overhear bits and pieces about ppl going to david's place from ruth but since im not from dat i-dunno-what-to-call-this-group group, and since i didnt get invited then i didnt go lol....erhm anyway we had a great time at dinner, lucas ate kang kong with rachel (one of the few times he actually eat vegetable).....jus talking nonsense and laughing mostly at sarah and all her wierd grunts, doing handsigns to represent the manly sarah, the bimbotic rachel, and lucas's was the mix of both heh......wells after dat we went back to church, i drove on my bike of course.......


after i had reached church, i showered and changed, and waiting for them so dat we could go into the sanctuary together but they all jus wanted to hang around in the clubhouse cos they didnt want to go for the sharing at 9pm.....i were slightly late, probably 930pm or so, so i didnt want to walk into the sanctuary and disrupt the sharing or wad.....i jus waited outside, away from view, waiting and delibrating if i should go in, straining to hear the things being said....well then elsie, timmy, cindy and timmy's sister, joanna from the christmas outreach musical came and then they went in after awhile.....i decided to go into the creche area to jus listen to the sharing, without disturbing much ppl.....i must say im really grateful dat i went for the sharing even tho i didnt go for all of it....i heard about how the Lord help uncle michael find a job within just a month of getting retrenched at his age is really quite a miracle....plus he shared he got to do some things dat he couldnt have done if not for the 'break'......i didnt even noe he lost his job lol.....and a few other things from the sharing dat God is good, all the time.....all the time, God is good.......(on another side note i saw uncle lawrence's 2 daughters who are really cute, the elder daughter made her younger sister push her in some plastic container with wheels at the bottom....wad a cute sight heh).....well then after dat was watch nite.....it was good, but i kept feeling the after effects of not having enough sleep, head ache, esp during the msg part and mop head thot i was scratching my head lol.......well bennett sat next to the jamir sisters haha bennett jamir!! i like to tease the jamir sisters on dat heh....after watch nite it was quite a frenzy again, everyone wishing u happy new year all dat haha....its one of those times when ppl jus shake ur hand heartily and merily and everyone is like wishing the same thing.......kinda nice in some ways....cos like normally if u jus stick out ur hand to someone or someone jus sticks his/her hand out to u, u'll still shake it but like u'll feel like "errr, o k...." as u shake it kinda thing......we should be more friendly to everyone i guess, more of the time........after wishing almost everyone i could, and ppl were all leaving for home, getting rides from ppl's parents homes, going for supper etc, i changed out of my black tee with a vest over it and long black jeans and shoes back into my cycling attire and i cycled home lol......tiring la but ok, at least better than troubling someone to fetch me home.......well dats the end to 2008 i guess, the new year awaits (even tho im blogging this in 2009, the new year still awaits, things like ORD and stuff heh), well hope u've enjoyed this update of the past heh......

replies to all the tags:

rachelllt: hello....haha erhm o k.....continue to keep dat kinda smile k? lol wad cute people, spammers! haiz i seem to be plagued by them haha.....y ur nick so strange one, y is there 3 Ls?

val: stalker! go find yan wei la.....

et: lol stop it with all ur spamments la, kinda pointless and childish....by the way i tagged twice on ur tagboard? cant be i onli clicked once and refreshed the page......oh wells

sandra: oh kk, i'll go relink u now...